Ed wakes up screaming.
His heart is pounding and he can't get enough air, his chest so tight he can barely breathe, but he can't help it. He screams again and almost chokes on it. Sweat is pouring down his face, he feels too hot and too cold at the same time, can barely stand the feeling of the blankets against his skin.
He's vaguely aware that he's in bed, his boyfriends lying next to him, but it doesn't feel real. Nothing feels real. Someone is talking to him, but Ed can't focus on their words, all he can hear is his father's yelling, it's too loud, it won't stop—
"Fuck! Eddie, stop screaming! Ed!"
Ed flinches away from the voice. "Stop," he whispers, but the other person doesn't hear him, doesn't listen, keeps shouting at him and telling him to calm down.
"Come on, Eddie, it was just a dream!"
A hand grabs his and he flinches so violently he almost falls off the bed. "Please," he whimpers. "Please, no…"
"Izzy!" Another voice. "Izzy, stop, this isn't helping!"
Ed tries weakly to get away, but the hand is holding his wrist too tightly. He wants to scream again, but it comes out more like a sob. For a moment, Ed thinks he's about to faint.
"Izzy, let go! You're hurting him!"
"I don't know what else to fucking do!"
"Then go and let me take care of him."
Ed flinches as the door slams shut—but then, finally, it's quiet again, except for the sound of his own ragged breathing.
"Ed?" Stede whispers. "Ed, darling, can you hear me?"
It takes some effort, but after a moment, Ed manages to nod.
"Very good. Can you open your eyes for me?"
Ed immediately shakes his head. It's too much, he can't, what if he opens his eyes and he's back with his dad—
"Okay, sweetheart, that's okay," Stede soothes. "You don't have to. Just listen to my voice, okay? I want you to breathe with me."
"Can't," Ed gasps.
"Yes, you can," Stede assures him. His voice sounds calm and comforting, even though it's trembling slightly. "Can I touch you?"
Ed flinches again and shakes his head, frantically trying to press as far back against the wall as he can.
"That's alright, darling. I won't touch you," Stede promises. "Can you try to follow my breathing?"
Stede takes a long, deep breath, holds it for a few seconds, and then breathes out again, loud and exaggerated. He repeats this over and over again, and Ed tries to match him until his own breathing finally slows and deepens.
"There you go," Stede whispers. "It's okay, darling. You're safe now, I promise. It was just a nightmare."
With that, the dam breaks, and Ed falls forward into Stede's arms, sobbing uncontrollably. His chest hurts, his head hurts, it's all too much—
"Shh, I'm here. I'm here. You're safe." Stede just keeps holding him and whispering soothing words until the tears finally stop.
"Sorry," Ed squeaks out after a while. "I—"
Stede shushes him immediately. "Nothing to be sorry for, darling. How are you feeling?"
Ed sighs. "I don't know. Tired, I guess? Feel like I've been hit by a carriage."
Stede chuckles softly. "I can imagine. Panic attacks are quite exhausting, aren't they?" Stede knows this better than most. Ed has helped him through quite a few panic attacks over the course of their relationship. "Want to go back to bed and get some more sleep?"
Curling up in bed sounds tempting, but Ed shakes his head. "Don't want to have another nightmare."
"Alright," Stede says easily. "How about a cozy day on the couch, then?"
Ed smiles. "Only if you and Izzy hand-feed me strawberries from the garden."
"Deal," Stede agrees with a laugh, never passing up an opportunity to spoil his boyfriend.
Suddenly, a thought crosses Ed's mind, and he looks around the room in confusion. "Where is Izzy, by the way?"
A moment of awkward silence follows. "I kicked him out," Stede mutters sheepishly then, staring at his hands.
"What? Why?"
"I'm sorry, darling. I didn't know what else to do. He tried to help you, but you seemed so scared of him..."
"Fuck," Ed whispers. "I need to apologize to him, I need to—"
Stede interrupts him with a gentle hand on his arm. "Ed, darling, breathe. It's okay. He will understand. Let's go talk to him, okay?"
Ed lets Stede help him up from the bed and lead him to the kitchen, where Izzy is trying to make tea for the three of them, cursing under his breath.
"Iz?"
Izzy's head whips around at the sound of Ed's voice and he almost drops one of the teacups, but Stede gently takes it out of his shaking hands. "Go talk to him," he murmurs. "I'll make the tea."
Izzy immediately rushes to Ed's side with a relieved sigh. "Thank fuck, you're alright." He reaches out to cup Ed's face in his hand, but Ed flinches away from him, still too unsettled from the nightmare.
"Sorry."
"Shut up, Eddie, it's not your fault." Izzy sighs. "Bad dream?"
Ed nods.
"Your dad?"
Ed swallows hard and nods again.
Izzy smiles sadly. "I'm sorry," he murmurs. "Didn't mean to scare you like that."
"It's okay," Ed says. "You were just trying to help—"
"Well, I didn't, did I?"
Ed flinches at the harshness in his voice, and Izzy's face falls. "Fuck, I'm sorry, Ed. I'm not mad at you, I promise, just... frustrated."
"I know," Ed says, and it's true. He does know that Izzy would never hurt or threaten him—not anymore, not after everything that happened. The dream just brought up some old memories, of shattered dinner plates and drunken slurs and watch your fucking step.
"Come on," Izzy says after a moment of silence. "Let's sit down so you can get some rest. You're trembling like a leaf."
He leads Ed to the sofa and wraps a blanket around his shoulders with a surprising gentleness, clearly trying not to scare him again. Ed rests his head on Izzy's shoulder and sighs. "Nightmares are the worst."
"Believe me, I know," Izzy says with a soft, humorless laugh. "Good thing about nightmares, though? You'll wake up eventually. And we'll always be there for you when you do. We won't let anyone hurt you again, least of all your fucking twat of a dead dad."
"That's right," Stede chimes in, handing each of them a cup of tea and settling on Ed's other side. "And if anyone tries, I'll stab them with a skewer and feed them to the seagulls."
Ed chuckles. "I would kind of like to see that."
"Me too, Bonnet," Izzy agrees with a grin, and Stede laughs.
"Well, in that case, I might need to practice on some of the guests, give you two a show."
They all laugh, and Ed snuggles up in his blanket with a smile, closing his eyes. The nightmare still lingers in the back of his mind—probably will for a while—but now, surrounded by warmth and gentle, familiar voices, he finally feels safe enough to try and get some more sleep.
He hopes his dreams are even half as nice as this moment.